ESSENTIAL HEALING JOURNAL

As I continue my work with this essential Reconnective Healing,
I will periodically post updates so you'll know what's new.

In order to make this easier for the reader, I will only post updates at my Reconnect and Heal Blog as of July 4, 2006. Please pop over, read the latest, and join in the Reconnective Healing discussions by adding your own comments. You can subscribe to receive notice whenever a new healing journal entry is added, making this even simpler.

Gotta love technology...

3/6/06

More About Distance Healing

I’ll be the first to say that I don’t understand everything about distance healing, but what I’m so struck by is how powerfully it seems to work. While I didn’t put these stories on my testimonial page, I have seen some impressive things happen with distance healings I facilitated for my family members.

My father had a third knee operation recently—a complete replacement and the second operation on that knee. Shortly thereafter, he was able to climb eight flights of stairs—something he had long given up. The doctors hadn’t seen anything like it before…and his recuperation continues to impress everyone. He now moves without pain for the first time in nearly two years and enjoys a daily four-mile walk. A nice outcome for a man with bad knees, about to turn 70.

What did the trick? The knee replacement? The utter confidence my father had in his doctor? The healing work I did? A combination of both? Something else? Does is matter that I absolutely know? Or is the result enough?

My uncle underwent rounds of chemotherapy and radiation for lung cancer. He’s about to turn 74. The doctors have been extremely impressed with how easily he’s sailed through what would normally knock someone his age flat.

What did the trick? The chemo? The radiation? A qualified medical team? The prayers by members of my uncle’s church? My distance healing work? Some of all or none of some? It’s maddening sometimes not to know for sure, not to be able to bask in my own glory, but does it really matter? Or is the result enough?

My stepmother’s father just turned 94. He went into the hospital about a week ago and no one thought he’d come back out. He’s had a miraculous turnaround and is going home. What did the trick? The three consecutive distance healing sessions I facilitated? The seven rounds of blood transfusions? Lots of love and prayer? Does it matter? Or is the result enough?

Meeting in the Void

Sometimes I have the most amazing connection with the person I’m doing a distance healing for. I meet them in some other arena, the void, a place of no thoughts, yet with my mind still aware of what’s happening. I feel such love and honor for them in that meeting and I’m overwhelmed by their greatness, often being moved to tears.

The healing takes over me completely and the enormous energy I’m physically feeling moves from my feet up my body to my arms and into my hands. When that happens, my hands do the darndest thing—they vigorously shake back and forth, moving this way and that, and I am so filled and connected to the Universe…

…it takes my breath away.

And I think, surely the person I’m doing the session with must be having an incredible healing. But that person may not consciously know that I’m even working with her and I may never find out what the results were. Or if I do find out, the results may be less dramatic than I expected, given my own experience of the session.

I have tell you, that’s hard for my ego to accept! Because of course, I want everyone to have the maximum possible healing…but what if they’re not ready? And it isn’t about what I want anyhow.

So much about this is new and unclear to me, but given that a distance healing utterly changed my own life, it’s not so surprising that this form of Reconnective Healing is the work I love the most.

3/25/06

Last night I was thinking about a dear friend when I suddenly began a distance healing for her. My hands shot up and began their now usual movements. The power of the energy moving through my hands was almost more than I could physically take. It’s difficult to explain, but the force of the energy is stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced. It feels a bit like lifting weight that is much heavier than I think I can handle, and yet I do handle it. There’s a huge amount of tension involved and I struggle a bit not to fight it, to just let it do what it wants to do. But when I allow it to overtake me, it becomes easier.

Can you imagine? It’s a huge matter of trust. But trust it I did…and what I encountered while thinking of my friend and with this healing moving through me, was her essence.

What is Essence?

It’s the fundamental uniqueness of who we all are. It’s what makes you you, and when that quality in me meets that quality in you, it’s like touching the greatness of the Universe, of God. It is the awe-inspiring connection of one soul to another, and it is absolutely about healing.

So that has me thinking about why this work is called “reconnection.” The friend I worked with last night is someone I absolutely love and admire and feel connected to, but what I experienced with her was greatness beyond anything I ever have during our earth-bound friendship…truly as if we were REconnecting, soul to soul…and it’s left me with even more respect and love for her than before.

This miraculous linking of one soul to another through the grace of God has wonderful ramifications for us.

Where’d All the Good People Go?

I was listening to Jack Johnson’s song and realized that it depends on where you’re looking. It’s the clichéd “Is the glass half full, or half empty?" question. How can we be looking at the same thing and yet see something quite different? Where we put our energy, what we do and what we think, is our reality. Reconnective Healing is definitely about the glass being half full…and filling up bit by bit with each healing encounter.

What a joy to be immersed in this work…to be connected to other healers who are privileged to do this same work…and what a joy to see the possibilities for changing what at times seems like an insurmount- ably negative state in the world.

Where'd all the good people go? It depends on where you’re looking…

3/26/06

It’s been my pleasure recently to work with a couple of women in their 70’s. They are years-long best friends and each of them, in her own time, at her own pace, came to me for Reconnective Healing. They arrived at my door with their powerful selves glowing, completely open to what they were about to experience, placing no demands or expectations on the work. They just knew this healing work was for them.

What a delight to work with such openness…no filters, no judgments, no fear. Just trust.

Ready: prepared or equipped to act immediately; unhesitant; present

That’s what these wonderful women were. And it made for a truly special encounter.

4/4/06

When Someone is Dying

Five days ago my sister-in-law’s mother (Big T) suffered a brain aneurysm and has been unconscious ever since. Shortly after hearing about what happened, I did successive distance healing sessions for her. During the first one, I had the distinct feeling that the healing would not lead to her coming out of unconsciousness and back to life. But I continued to do what I could, in the hopes that it would at least lead to a peaceful transition.

I didn’t tell my brother and sister-in-law that I had done the sessions until my brother called to ask me if I could help. When I told him that I had already done three sessions, he said that while at the hospital that first day, they saw Big T twitching in the bed and actually wondered whether I was doing something for her at that time.

What does that twitching really show? I’m not sure. I hope what I did is helping Big T in some way, because no one wants to see her suffer or linger unnecessarily (and her living will spells out what she wants and doesn’t want). But unless she miraculously opens her eyes and hasn’t suffered the severe brain damage the doctors believe she has, we’ll never know.

Does it mean something that tears were flowing down my face during the sessions? Was it just my compassion for what Big T and her family are going through? Was it the humbling connection I felt to God when this work was flowing through my hands? Was it an indicator that the healing was engaged?

Lots of questions and no clear-cut answers. But I see the comfort it brings to my brother and sister-in-law and their gratitude for my efforts. This healing is something they value and trust, so that’s good enough for me. The rest is up to God anyhow.

4/5/06

Miracles Happen

My brother just called to tell me that his mother-in-law has now opened both eyes, can squeeze your hand, has given the “thumbs-up” sign, is off the ventilator and breathing on her own, and can obviously feel pain.

What I didn’t explicitly describe in yesterday’s post is that the fluid build-up in Big T’s brain was so severe that it had pushed her brain over to the right side of her head. The doctors had never seen anything like it, and it is why they expected that Big T would never come out of her coma, and why, if she possibly did, she’d be so severely brain-damaged.

As I write this, I’m shaky and goose-bumpy. I don’t know what will happen from here on out, but I am overwhelmed by Big T’s response. What I do know is that my brother and sister-in-law were preparing themselves for a funeral, and now they have hope again…

…good God Almighty!

4/9/06

The improvement with Big T is continuing. She is now talking a bit and fully aware of what’s going on.

4/16/06

I had asked M.A., the husband of a friend of mine, if he would give me a testimonial for my web site. Rather than hearing back from him, I heard from his wife who had asked me to do three sessions for him as a birthday gift. Here’s what she wrote:

“I noticed a HUGE change in the way he interacted with both our daughter and me. He is more positive, light, and very funny, going into odd character imitations, which he does so well.

He has remained very positive and is a delight to have around.

You have most likely saved our relationship.”

It makes me really happy that this work has helped bring them closer together again. I have known and loved them for years, and it had saddened me to think that the family might not stay intact. So where once there was concern and sadness, there’s now joy and lightness of being…and reconnection.

And of course, this speaks to healing that takes place on less overtly obvious levels. While there were no apparent physical manifestations needing my help, the emotional, mental and spiritual levels did get engaged in healing for M.A. And that’s equally as important, if not more so...

...just ask his wife and daughter.

4/18/06

Back to the topic of physical healing…

Big T has been moved to a different hospital closer to her home, and is making great strides. Her left side continues to improve slowly but surely, and while her speech is still quite limited, she can now say a few words. She still has a long road ahead of her toward rehabilitation and recovery, but things are moving in the right direction.

4/21/06

How’d That Happen?

I've recently been communicating with a woman from Hawaii named Hanalei. From the first interaction, she and I felt as if we’d known each other for years. We’ve emailed each other many times and had one long phone conversation. Our agreement includes bartering for remote Reconnective Healing that I plan to start shortly.

But here’s the interesting thing…Hanalei is already reconnecting. She’s having daily and intense eye registers and has written me a detailed description of what’s happening. In addition, although I don’t know anything about her health concerns (other than that she’s had some significant challenges), she’s going through a recurrence of them that tells me she’s healing and letting them go.

Neither of us expected this. We were being very clear with each other about when to start her distance sessions, and she just wasn’t ready yet. But for some reason I can’t definitively explain, her healing has already begun.

When I was getting trained, I had heard that just being in the presence of a Reconnective Healer can bring about healing reactions in others. But this is the first time I’ve experienced this with someone I haven’t even met yet in person. Certainly I have been keen to get started with Hanalei, but I was respecting her wish to wait until she was ready. Apparently, the Universe decided for her!

4/30/06

Guardian Angels

Sometimes gifts come in the most unexpected ways.

I worked on a beautiful 15-year old girl this morning—the daughter of a client who had completed his Reconnective Healing sessions, gone on to The Reconnection, and found great value in them. And so he wanted his daughter to experience some of what he had.

This young woman, KA, hasn’t had an easy time of it. Her mother died a few years ago and her father is having to single parent her. She’s going through many of the struggles young people her age go through and has made some decisions that have been harmful to her self. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this session, but I was very excited at the opportunity to work with such a young person.

The session began very gently, and I remained at the head of the table the entire time—the healing energy keeping me firmly there. At first, my hand movements were very gentle and the energy felt very nurturing, as if caressing away her pain. I got choked up pretty quickly and had to work hard not to sob out loud during the session. While I sometimes get emotional during a session, this was a bit different, and after a while I just let the tears flow as the healing continued.

The next thing that happened is that the energy in my hands picked up and they started moving about much more intensely, flapping this way and that. I felt very connected to KA as this was going on, and could feel myself healing along with her.

Then all of a sudden I felt KA’s mother come into the session! I recognized her immediately but then my mind wanted to doubt what was happening and so I asked, “Is this just because I know she lost her mother and I have such empathy for that kind of loss?”

As soon as I formed that thought in my mind, I felt my own mother come into the session! My mother and her mother were there side by side—hers working through my left hand and mine working through my right. It was so amazing—emotionally powerful and full of healing.

The energy slowly began to wind down and I felt my mother leave, but my hands continued their very gentle, caressing motions above and around KA’s head, and as the energy was dissipating, KA opened her eyes, as if sensing the change.

As the session ended, I pulled myself together and in great anticipation, asked KA what she experienced. She told me she had felt her mother there with her, holding her, and that she could feel bad energy leaving her body!

After she described a couple other things, I shared with her that I, too, recognized her mother, and my own. The connection between KA and me was very strong during the session, and how could it not be, with our mothers joined together on behalf of both our selves?

I don’t know how such things can happen, except through the grace of God.

5/1/06

Where's the Exit?

It has now been over a month since Big T, my sister-in-law’s mother, had her brain aneurysm. This morning, my brother brought me up to speed on her recovery.

Big T continues to do more than anyone thought possible, going beyond where the medical staff have felt she would be able to, pushing past limitations and expectations. She is doing really well on her right side with good range of motion. Her left side remains a challenge, and while she still needs lots of rehab, there is definite progress, with her now being able to resist against someone during her physical exercises. Her healing journey may be slow, but it’s definite.

Communicating verbally is still not easy for Big T. Her voice is a bit rough (possibly due to the tubes down her throat) and she can speak more easily in the morning, but the hoarseness makes it hard to understand her at times. When speaking wears her out, she communicates through writing and in that way, is connecting with her family and showing her humor remains intact. She recently wrote, “Get me out of here!”

Rehab will be a long process but Big T looks really strong and has come so far in such a short time. Her family remains thrilled by her physical progress and the sharpness of her mind. And of course, like Big T, they can’t wait until she can leave the hospital.

5/20/06

The Healing Never Stops

One of the things I’m learning about myself through this work is that the healing never stops. Yes, I had a miraculous healing last summer and I came back from the brink, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t more healing to do, and more yet to come.

I was thinking about this last night, as I’d been feeling less than stellar all week, and was a bit resentful, frustrated and angry about that. With healing comes new awareness about personal responsibility and so I thought about what I’d been doing this last week that might have contributed to how I was feeling. I’d just had a really fun (but brief) relationship end and I felt hurt and rejected...and I realized last night how I manifest physical symptoms when things are going on with me emotionally or mentally. And from internalizing my emotions about what happened, I started eating much less healthily and drinking a bit of alcohol, which I have very little tolerance for. And I wasn’t sleeping very well or exercising much.

In the past, I would have continued down a painful slide towards ill health and increasing pain. But I don’t want that kind of life anymore. And so I reminded myself to say NO to the pain and to keep in mind that what I have committed to with Reconnective Healing, is to bring light and information onto the planet. The information flows through me from the Universe and the light in me grows ever stronger. That’s what I’m here to share—who I am, what I have come through, and a commitment to help others experience their own glory.

So I say it again...

NO to the pain. Yes to trust and love. Yes to life.

It’s so much sweeter this way...

5/28/06

I was talking to my youngest brother and getting the latest on Big T (improvements are still slow, but sure) when the conversation went in a different direction. He began telling me how my distance healing sessions on behalf of him and his wife have impacted them.

In particular, my brother told me that he no longer reacts in the same way that he used to—that he is able to handle things so much better now. He said he doesn’t look at the negative anymore but rather, sees the proverbial glass as half full. I wondered whether that isn’t just a natural outcome, given what he has been through with his mother-in-law and how he’s seen it affect her daughter—his wife.

But I’ve heard similar stories from other clients.

My brother then told me about a physical healing he’s had. For a great many years, he has been plagued with neck problems which degenerated into two vertebrae nearly fusing together. At times, he walked with a pronounced crooked gait. Much to the surprise of his chiropractor, recent x-rays show that he now has normal spacing between those two vertebrae, and my brother is delightedly symptom and pain-free.

He then mentioned that his wife is enjoying a new-found connection to Sprit, to God—and that her years’ long aversion to religion in general is shifting. Again, given what her mother has been through, this might not be so unusual. But my brother and sister-in-law definitely credit Reconnective Healing with these changes.

So who am I to argue?

6/8/06

Wowie, zowie, Howie!

I was called by a 70 year old gentleman who found my name on the practitioner directory for The Reconnection. We talked quite a long while, like we were old friends, but he decided to find a practitioner closer to his home in the South Bay, rather than driving an hour to see me (I’d have done the same!). Howie is preparing to get trained as a Reconnective Healer himself and needs The Reconnection before he can complete his Level 3 training. I was very impressed with him starting something new in his life and also with his joie de vivre, after a life of more than the usual challenges and loss.

I got another call from Howie telling me he’d decided to come see me after all. We spoke on the phone for quite a while again and then made an appointment for him to come for a session.

This morning he arrived and before we started, he wanted to tell me about something really unexpected that had happened. For 30 years he has been suffering with back problems and a diagnosis of prolapsed (slipped) discs—something he’d once considered having surgery for. Pain was something Howie simply accepted and believed he’d always have to live with. But after we got off the phone he realized that something was very, very different—he wasn’t hurting anymore! He had had a healing!

As he told me this story this morning, the both of us were in tears. This isn’t the first time I’ve been a part of such a healing, but it’s always unexpected and always so humbling. And when it happens without a formal session, when it comes through simply from being exposed to this Reconnective Healing energy, it’s a bit like a Twilight Zone moment…you wonder: is this real, and if so, how in the world does something like this happen? And of course, there’s only one answer: divine intervention!

6/27/06

When Death Follows a Healing

If you’ve been following these journal entries, you know that my sister-in-law’s mother, Big T, suffered a terrible brain aneurysm nearly three months ago. I’m sorry to say that Big T died last night.

There are some details that I left out of Big T’s story that I can now share—the main one being that she was an alcoholic who had long been held prisoner by her addiction. When she suffered the aneurysm, she had been on a three-day bender and was “sleeping it off” for a couple days, as was her pattern. Of course, that rest from drinking was when the aneurysm occurred. And as you may recall, it wasn’t discovered right away and led to her being injured more severely than if she had received immediate medical attention.

While Big T’s waking up from the coma and her slow path toward rehabilitation were clearly miraculous and a source of joy for her family, the damage to her liver, compounded by the injuries from the aneurysm, were too much for her to overcome.

I must admit that in the days since the healings I facilitated for Big T, I wondered whether her waking up was entirely a good thing. Yes, it meant that her family didn’t lose her right then, but the care that was required, the suffering she endured, and the burden it was placing on her family members was quite extreme. I worried how that would affect my brother’s family and whether they could stand up to the stress of constantly driving back and forth three hours or more each way, day after day.

I’ve often thought about the fact that I didn’t really do the healing—I was just the vehicle for it—and what happened as a result of it was not in my control. But had I done the right thing? I didn’t ask for permission to do the healings. My brother asked me to do them after I had already done so. Yet I recall clearly that the healings were given out of love and out of a sincere desire to help with her transition into death, and not with any expectation that she would live. So I was surprised (shocked really) by what happened.

Any thoughts I had wondering whether I had done the right thing have been quickly put to rest. All it took was hearing my sister-in-law talk about the time she had with her mother these last months that she might never have had; how grateful she was that her mother knew how much she was loved; and how fortunate she felt to be there last night when her mother was passing away.

So while my sister-in-law and her family are naturally saddened and in grief, there is relief that Big T is no longer suffering, and there is heartfelt appreciation for the time she had and for the bonding that happened before she left her battered body.

Healing is an exercise in trust. And I trust that Big T received the healing that God intended for her...

...and so did her family, including me.

As the subtitle to Dr. Pearl’s book says: Heal Others, Heal Yourself.